Fun on the Web June 24 '08 Joke

You are in the middle of some kind of project
around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a
new fence in, painting the living room, or what-
ever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt
or paint. You have your old work clothes on.
You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in
crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who
knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home
improvement project you realize you need
to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help
complete the job. Depending on your age
you might do the following.

In your 20s:Stop what you are doing. Shave,
take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your
teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check
yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of
your favorite cologne because you never know,
you just might meet some hot chick while
standing in the checkout lane. You went to
school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30s:Stop what you are doing, put on clean
shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the
hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your
hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the
mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite
cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running
the register is the kid sister to someone you went
to school with.

In your 40s:Stop what you are doing. Put a sweat-
shirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the
crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a
hat. Wash your hands Your bottle of Brute Cologne
is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it
on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror
and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy
young thing running the register is your daughter's
age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50s:Stop what you are doing Put a hat on,
wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.
Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt
in your new sports car. Check yourself in the
mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt
anymore because it makes you look fat. The
Cutie running the register smiles when she
sees you coming and you think you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from
your buddy's bait shop and it says, "I Got Worms".

In your 60s:Stop what you are doing. No need for
a hat anymore. Hose off the dog crap off your shoes.
The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing
hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running
the register may be cute but you don't have your
glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70s:Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to
Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready
too. Don't' even notice the dog crap on your shoes.
The young thing at the register smiles at you
because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80s:Stop what you are doing. Start again.
Then stop again. Now you remember that you
needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and
wander around trying to think what it is you are
looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone
called out your name. The old lady that greeted
you at the front door went to school with you.