Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fun on the Web July 30 '08 Funny

New Perspective

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even
get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and over fifty for Miss America ?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing,
I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now
I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be
able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life
we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school,
but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it.... Brain cells come and brain cells
go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the
Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in
English, thank a soldier'

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The
closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Fun on the Web July 29 '08 Coffee Machine

This is neat. I don't know how folks figure all this stuff out.


Don't forget to click on 'OPEN' !!!


Monday, July 28, 2008

Fun on the Web July 28 '08 Joke

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married
for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they
managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health,
largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods
and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went
on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending
them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted
them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion,
furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked
kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid
could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome
to Heaven. This will be your home now.'
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going
to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this
is your reward in Heaven.'

The old man looked out the window and right there he
saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful
than any ever built on Earth. 'What are the greens fees?,'
grumbled the old man.

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free,
every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish
buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out
before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts,
free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is
Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously
at his wife.
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods,
and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat
and drink as much as you like of whatever you like,
and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'

'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and
your bran muffins. We could have been here ten
years ago!'

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Fun on the Web July 27 '08 Obit

Sad death...

Please join me in remembering a great icon
of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury
Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection
and trauma complications from repeated pokes
in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their
respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The
grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly
described Doughboy as a man who never knew
how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose
quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with turnovers. He was not considered a
very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough
on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little
flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and
was consid ered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough,
three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and
Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He
is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second,
please rise to the occasion and take time to
pass it on and share that smile with someone
else who may be having a crumby day and
kneads a lift.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Fun on the Web July 26 '08 Use Gmail

6 More Reasons to Use Gmail

Friday, July 25, 2008

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Fun on the Web July 24 '08 Quote

James Bond has a license to kill, rockstars have a
license to be outrageous. Rock is about grabbing
people's attention. ~~ Gene Simmons

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Fun on the Web July 19 '08 Warning

From Robert Jaques of ITNews Australia:
Hackers are deluging web users with malware-
laden spam claiming that World War III has
started following a US invasion of Iran. Security
experts warned today that spam emails with
subject lines including ‘Third World War has
begun’, ‘20000 US Soldiers in Iran’ and ‘US
Army crossed Iran’s borders’ have been

The emails contain links to a malicious webpage
that displays what appears to be a video player
showing the mushroom cloud of a nuclear
explosion. Text on the page reads: ‘Just now
US Army’s Delta Force and US Air Force have
invaded Iran. Approximately 20000 soldiers
crossed the border into Iran and broke down
the Iran’s Army resistance. The video made
by US soldier was made today morning. Click
on the video to see the first minutes of the
beginning of World War III. God save us.’

However, Sophos warned that users visiting
the webpage and clicking on the ‘video player’
run the risk of being infected with the
Troj/Tibs-UO Trojan and a malicious JavaScript
hidden on the website as Mal/ObfJS-AY.

A perfect example of hackers/phishers/spammers/
whatever playing emotions against their victims.
So, take it upon yourself to spread the word,
especially consider friends or family that might have
loved ones across seas, as they’re probably most
likely to react emotionally and click without thinking.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Fun on the Web July 15 '08 Blue 13 Chicago

With food like Lobster Pizza and Bison Strip Steak
Blue 13 Chicago may not be for the faint of heart
but if your looking for something new and different
it may fit the occasion.

The full review here:

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Fun on the Web July 2 '08 Brazillian Steak House

With a 50 item salad bar full of premium and exotic
food you would think that was the focus but not at
Texas de Brazil. Its really all about the slow roasted
meats that are brought to your table on a skewer
and carved tableside with a huge knife or is it really
a sword?

Located in numerous states they also feature "wine
angels" who fly up to pick out your selections from
their two story wine cellar of vintage wines.

They offer an eclub for discounted meals (25-50%)

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Fun on the Web July 1 '08 Lakota

Learn about the Lakota Indians and find a favorite
artist. If you join their e-club you will receive
*Native American-themed note cards
*Convenient writing pad
*Native American-inspired address labels
*Email updates from the Akta Lakota Museum &
Cultural Center