Friday, October 31, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 31 '08

Makeup like a fairy
http://www.wikihow.com/Do-Your-Make-up-Like-a-Fairy-for-Halloween

Time Magazines 50 Best Inventions
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1852747_1854493,00.html


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Trick or Treating By Astrological Sign...

Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first.

Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.

Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again.

Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters.

Leo plans their costume for months, then won't go out because someone else had the same idea.

Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they're a bookkeeper.

Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a
costume.

Scorpio isn't in it for the candy.

Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town.

Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the
optimal route to take.

Aquarius builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all
night tinkering when it shorts.

Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Fun on the Web Justice? News

Did the Bush Administration help corporation avoid responsibilities?
http://www.justice.org/cps/rde/xchg/justice/hs.xsl/3672.htm

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 27 '08 Quote

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
- Aaron McGruder

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 22 '08 Quote

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 21 '08 Quote

What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to.
- Hansell B. Duckett

Monday, October 20, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 20 '08 Seal

Official Announcement:
The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 19 '08 Potential vs Reality

Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'


A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother
if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask
your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would
sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million
bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three
million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two hookers
and a future congressman."

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 18 '08 Squirrels

Church Squirrels

There were Five country churches in a small TEXAS town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church,
the Catholic Church, and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will . . .

In the BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles out side of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic CHURCH came up with the best and most effective solution so far. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 17 '08 Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time there lived a king.

The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS.

But there was a problem:

Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what;

Metal,

Wood,

Stone,

Anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,

'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.

The prince went away sadly.

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.

But alas, Once the princess touched them, they melted.

He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the princess,

'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red?.

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.

And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.

And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after..

Question: What was in the prince's pants??
(Scroll down for the answer)

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M&M's of course.

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

What were you thinking???

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 16 '08 Quote

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.
- Albert Einstein

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 15 '08 Printable Cards

http://www.123printcards.com/
http://www.dltk-cards.com/
http://www.thecustomcards.com/
http://www.printfree.com/

Monday, October 13, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 13 '08 Craft sites

These are my favorites but there are many many more
http://www.getcrafty.com/
http://www.notmartha.org/
http://www.shelterrific.com/
http://www.ehow.com/
http://www.howstuffworks.com/
http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 12 '08 Kids Sites

http://www.beritsbest.com/
http://www.magickeys.com/books/
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/Home.html
http://www.brightideas.com/index.jsp
http://www.storybookonline.net/
http://www.surfnetkids.com/
http://kids.yahoo.com/
http://www.superkids.com/
http://www.genaustin.org/public/

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 11 '08 Friends

Friendship between Women:


A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband
that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10
best friends. None of them knew anything about it.



Friendship between Men:


A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he
had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best
friends, eight of which confirmed that he had slept over, and two said that
he was still there.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 10 '08 Quotes

There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.
- Richard Feynman

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I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy. - Richard Feynman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there.
- Richard Feynman -

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Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it. - Richard Feynman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is Richard Feynman? A US educator & physicist; wrote memoirs "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman" 1985 "What Do You Care What Other People Think" 1988; led investigation of Challenger explosion; Nobel Prize in Physics 1965

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 8 '08 Fun Blogs

http://ohhaveyouseenthis.blogspot.com/
http://blaine.org/sevenimpossiblethings/
http://94270-historia.blogspot.com/
http://milwaukeedailyphoto.com/

Free fonts
http://www.kevinandamanda.com/scrapbook/fonts/

http://www.calculatorcat.com/moon_phases/daily_moon_phases.phtml

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 7 '08 Lolcats

Lol cats
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolcat

LOLSpeak
http://speaklolspeak.com/
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/04/24/lol-kitteh-as-a-second-language-lksl-101-in-five-easy-steps/

I Can Has Cheezburger
http://icanhascheezburger.com/

I Can Has a Hot Dog
http://ihasahotdog.com/

and now ROFLrazzi
http://roflrazzi.com/

and Engrish Funny
http://engrishfunny.com/

More Pet HoldingsSites
http://totallylookslike.com/
http://punditkitchen.com/
http://graphjam.com/

Monday, October 6, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 6 '08 Auctions

Seized Property Auctions
http://www.usps.com/auctions/
http://www.treas.gov/auctions/
http://www.surplussales.gsa.gov/
http://www.ost.state.wi.us/home/up.html
http://www.doa.state.wi.us/category.asp?linkcatid=20&linkid=46&locid=2
http://www.state.il.us/cms/1_buying/statesurp.htm
http://gsaauctions.gov/gsaauctions/gsaauctions/
http://www.gsa.gov/Portal/gsa/ep/channelView.do?pageTypeId=8199&channelPage=%2Fep%2Fchannel%2FgsaOverview.jsp&channelId=-13248

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 5 '08 Questions

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

If Life Were Like A Computer:
- You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.

- You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!

- You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.

- You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.

- You could click on “find” (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys.

- To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

- If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 3 '08 Basic Tech Tips

Awesome Basic Computer Tech Tips from Pougue
http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/02/tech-tips-for-the-basic-computer-user/
make sure to scroll down through the comments for even more tips

even more tips
http://www.keyxl.com/aaa367b/5/Microsoft-Word-keyboard-shortcuts.htm

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If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.

If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.

But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling
refund you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily
and recycle.

This is called the 401-Keg Plan.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Fun on the Web Oct 2 '08 Slogan generator

The Joy of Jewelry And All That Jazz.

Enter a word for your own slogan:

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Get more jewelry and all that jazz slogans.


I found this slogan generator and other web toys at

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/