Friday, February 27, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 27 '09 Funny

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started....


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...


I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 25 '09 Funny Cats

I've got to agree with the title of this video; i.e. The best cat video you'll ever see (maybe); but it is very funny.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 24 '09 Funny

Cat Rescue

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her cat in her arms.

"Hey, lady", yells Larry, "Throw me the cat!"

"No," she cries, "It's too far!"

"I play football. I can catch him!"

The smoke is pouring from the windows. The woman kisses her cat goodbye and tosses it down to the street.

Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The feline bounces off an awning and he runs into the street to catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one-handed catch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks into cheers.

Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 23 '09 The Oscars

If your anything like me you just want to see the clothes

For more coverage

Fun on the Web Feb 23 '09 Quote

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.
- Evan Esar

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 22 '09 R Rated Funnies

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking.

Dorothy: ! ; "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know
you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him
before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7
P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me
such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there
but a luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.

Then he takes me out for dinner... a marvelous dinner...
lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a
show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much!

So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an
ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has
his way with me two times!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I
shouldn't go out with him?"

Edna: "No, no, no.. I'm just saying, wear an old dress."

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 21 '09 Free IM and Email

"Big String emails can be destroyed, recalled or changed even after they've been opened! You’re the boss, and clicking "send" will never again be an irreversible disaster."

Artists and Photographers, On-Line Daters/Networkers, and Executives can "add attachments, fix typos, update critical data, all after the message is sent and with no addenda needed. You can even "pull an email back" to delete expired price quotes, old business offers or dated legal material . . . Prevent photos from being printed or forwarded, set expiration dates for emails, or even set the number of times your photo can be viewed before it disappears. BigString is your email insurance."

" AIM, Yahoo, GTalk, MSN currently can be logged into from BigString IM. You can log into multiple screen names on any of the services at one time."

Free IM and Email with unlimited storage.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 20 '09 Funnies

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once --
or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
Now what?

Protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove
that money can't make me happy.

If the world was a logical place,
men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a 'free' gift?
Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible,
and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home
and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left
when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists:
they don't talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height --
which varies.

I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help 'groups'?

If swimming is so good for your figure,
how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it my imagination,
or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 18, '09 End Blocked Calls?

"TrapCall, offered by TelTech Systems, will unblock and reveal the actual caller ID when a call has been blocked. No software or download needed!"

"When you receive a blocked or restricted call, reject it. You don’t want to answer an unknown number anyway right? In a matter of seconds, the blocked call is sent to our servers, where it is instantly unmasked and sent back to your phone! All the while the caller hears a normal ring tone, oblivious to the fact that you know exactly who they are. "

TelTech Systems also offers SpoofCard with "the ability to change what someone sees on their caller ID display when they receive a phone call. Simply dial the toll free number and then your PIN. You'll then be prompted to enter the destination number followed by the phone number to appear on caller ID.."

Friday, February 13, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 13 '09 Live Greener

A unique, upbeat perspective — eco news, green product reviews and useful info for busy folks looking to cultivate a greener, healthier, more sustainable lifestyle

More Living Greener Resources

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 12 '09 Legal Resources

Legal and Government Info



for Kids


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 11 '09 Scrabulous vs Lexulous

Scrabulous is now Lexulous with some changes

More about Lexulous

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 10 '09 #1 Song When Born

Thanks to Erin for this link to provide the #1 song the day you were born or any other day in history (anniversary?)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 9 '09 Free Valentines to Print

Free Valentines to Print

or In Respect to the New Years Resolution That has Already Died

Fun on the Web Feb 8 '09 Carlin Quote

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~~ George Carlin

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 7 '09 Carlin Quote

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ~~ George Carlin

Friday, February 6, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 6 '09 Carlin Quote

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ~~ George Carlin

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Fun on the Web Feb 4 '09 Click to donate

Play this word game to donate food for the poor

Click a few times to give food, mamograms, and free childrens health care

Even more click to give sites