Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Fun on the Web May 31, 2011 Reliable Heath Advice

With a host of doctors and professors on their advisory board from John Hopkins, Harvard, and other prestigious institutions this site offers jargon free articles and advice.
http://www.myoptumhealth.com/portal/#multiStory1

Having a headache so I have to go lay down.

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Fun on the Web May 30, 2011 Memorial Day

I hope you all have some outdoor plans to enjoy the current summer weather.

******************************************

"Washington, D.C. high schools are being investigated for teachers helping students beat the standardized tests by giving them the answers or changing wrong answers for them. Where were these teachers when I was in high school?" -Jay Leno

******************************************

The first day at my new health club I asked the girl at the
front desk, "I like to exercise after work. What are your
hours?"

"Our club is open 24/7," she told me excitedly, "Monday
through Saturday."

******************************************

"They say that when you have a baby, you lose 700 hours of sleep in the first year, but it's worth it when they're old enough to do the yard work." -Craig Ferguson
******************************************

My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended
graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said
she wasn't in yet and offered to take a message. The caller
said she'd phone back later.

At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that
Marina had gone to lunch.

The last call came in at 3:30 p.m. "I'm sorry," I said,
"she's left for the day. May I take a message?"

"Yes," the caller replied. "How can I get a job with you?"

******************************************

"Microsoft is bringing back 'Clippy,' the cartoon paperclip
that used to pop up in Word documents. Apparently he's been
hiding in an upscale suburb of Pakistan." -Jimmy Fallon

******************************************

A co-worker asked if I knew what to do about a computer problem that was preventing her from getting e-mail. After calling the help desk, I told my colleague that e-mail was being delayed to check for a computer virus. "It's a variant of the I Love You virus, only worse," I said.

"What could be worse?" my single co-worker asked wryly. "The Let's Just Be Friends virus?"

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Fun on the Web May 27, 2011 Pampering TGIF

Happy long weekend!

Tips on Pampering
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/258151/7_tips_for_how_women_can_pamper_themselves.html

******************************************

No sooner did I hear about Flirtinis than the recipe popped up on my screen

Ingredients

1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz Cointreau or Triple Sec
1 oz pineapple juice
3 oz champagne
1 marschino cherry, for garnish

Directions

1 Pour the vodka, Cointreau, and juice into an ice-filled mixing glass. Stir.
2 Strain into a chilled martini glass.
3 Top with the champagne.
4 Garnish with the maraschino cherry.

******************************************

While I may not have the ingredients above I do have these to make Raspberry Hard Lemonade (and the lemonade is sugar free too)

Ingredients

2 oz vodka
3 oz pink lemonade
1/2 oz raspberry liqueur
ice
Directions

1 Pour vodka and lemonade into an ice-filled mixing glass. Stir.
2 Strain into serving glass.
3 Carefully pour in raspberry liqueur.

******************************************

This sounds amazing too Cinnamon Caramel Apple Martini

Ingredients

1 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
2 oz Vodka
1 oz Rose's Sour Apple Mix
1 Maraschino Cherry
1 Tsp. Cinnamon
1 Tbs. Brown Sugar
1 Tbs. Caramel Syrup
1 Small Candy Cane
1 Slice Green Apple
Directions

1 Sprinkle some brown sugar and cinnamon on a small plate. Pour caramel syrup on top of the sugar mixture in a circle. Dip the rim of a martini glass in the mixture and spin back and forth and all around until the whole rim is coated. Place the glass in the freezer until ready to use.

2 In a shaker with ice, add the Buttershots, the vodka and the sour apple mix. Shake for a minute.

3 Remove glass from freezer. Place one maraschino cherry in the bottom of the glass. Pour mix from shaker into glass. Garnish with a Candy Cane and an apple slice. Notes: If you prefer a drink that packs less of a punch you can always cut the vodka in half.

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Fun on the Web May 26, 2011 Theme Parks

So some of you may know I am planning a trip with my granddaughter to LA but did you know we will try to hit some theme parks?

I am always looking for a bargain so here is where I look:
http://www.themeparkcodes.com/
http://themeparks.lovetoknow.com/Category:Theme_Parks_Slideshows

http://www.family-vacation-getaways-at-los-angeles-theme-parks.com/los-angeles-theme-parks.html

http://www.mousesavers.com/hollywood.html

******************************************

Life is still packed or should I say filled with unpacking, schlepping boxes and things from one place to another. Nothing seems funny but sitting down sure feels good these days!

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Fun on the Web May 25, 2011 Photos

OK I am having a day. Still unpacking and too much to do but I did check out brunch ideas and came across this blog entry on how to take great graduation photos:
http://www.machineshed.com/blog/2011/how-to-take-great-graduation-photos/

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Fun on the Web May 24, 2011 Pinterest

Great quote on a great website. A place to keep those things that interest you. (We can't all blog can we?)
http://pinterest.com/pin/26338676/
******************************************

Going to make this quick. Off to a job interview . . .

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Fun on the Web May 23, 2011 Picking a Tie

Have you ever wonder how to pick good ties?
http://www.wikihow.com/Choose-a-Tie

******************************************

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading and invading America....Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.


And furthermore


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?:


1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."


2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."


3. She is not "EASY" - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."


4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."


5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."


6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."


7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"


8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."


9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."


10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."


11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."


12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

******************************************

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?:


1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.


2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."


3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."


4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."


5. He is not a Cradle Robber He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."


6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."


7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He developed a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."


8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."


9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."


10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."


11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It is "REAR CLEAVAGE."

******************************************

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6 WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
7. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
(because if they all went, it would be Hell.)


Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart......
Then you are just an old sour fart.

******************************************

Things to Ponder

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seatbelts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this: no one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
20. How is it that a little boy who is deathly afraid of needles has to have piercings when he turns 18?

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Fun on the Web May 22, 2011 Share Files

You've heard of Cloud Computing? Well here is your chance to publish and share files FREE! Drag and drop to check it out. My suggestion is try them all but keep a log of what is where on your hard drive.
http://ge.tt/
http://letscrate.com/
http://min.us/

Funnies
******************************************

YOU'VE GOTTA LOVE New York WOMEN!!


A woman from New York and another woman were seated
side-by-side on an airplane. The woman from New York,
being friendly and all, said: So, where are you from?"

The other woman said, "From a place where they know
better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."

The woman from New York sat quietly for a moment
and then replied: "So, where are you from, bitch?"

******************************************

A WEEK AT THE GYM: ONE MAN'S STORY



If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary:

For my birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me

Although I am still in as great a shape as my college days some 30-40 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try, mostly to please her.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started!

The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart of my progress.



MONDAY

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

TUESDAY

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air – then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worth while. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine – which I sank.

FRIDAY

I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the M----- f----- barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up watching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my wife (the bitch) will choose a gift for me that is fun – like a root canal or a vasectomy .. that is if I don't divorce her first for intolerable cruelty

******************************************

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT

(This one is too funny to not forward.)

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,

"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.

Tray-up, B*tch."

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Fun on the Web May 21, 2011 Treasure Hunt

From http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110401/ap_on_en_ot/us_library_treasure_hunt

Link to website http://game.nypl.org/

NY Public Library to hold overnight treasure hunt

By ULA ILNYTZKY, Associated Press – 6 mins ago
NEW YORK – The majestic main branch of the New York Public Library is seeking 500 people to spend the night there on a scavenger hunt designed to tap into their inner creativity and potential as they explore its miles of rare treasures.

The hunt, called "Find the Future: The Game," was created for the library's centennial celebration by Jane McGonigal, renowned for designing games that tackle real-world problems.

"We realized that if we could bring players face to face with these treasures, these world-changing objects from the past, they would be able to tap into their own world-changing potential," said McGonigal, the author of the best-seller "Reality is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World."

Would-be scavengers at the midtown Manhattan library can register on a website going online Friday. Each needs to complete a written challenge, or quest, for the chance to play the game, which starts on May 20 at 8 p.m. and ends the next day at 6 a.m.
Taking a page from the hit movie "A Night at the Museum," the 500 participants, working in groups of eight, will traipse all over the magnificent marble interior of the Fifth Avenue library, including the beautiful Adam A. Rose Reading Room and 18-mile-long underground stacks.

In keeping with the library's 100th anniversary theme, "Find The Future," the players will be looking for 100 objects, with clues where to find them appearing via an app on their mobile devices. Each group will have time for about three to four objects.
To prove they found an object, they will have to scan a type of bar code with their cell phones and spend time with it before unlocking a quest to write their own story based on the object at a computer in the reading room.

For example, McGonigal said, players who find a full-text version of the Declaration of Independence handwritten by Thomas Jefferson in the library's collection will be able to make their own written declarations about something that matters to them and their future. They also will be able to share their story on an online version of the game that will be available a day after the overnight gamers complete their challenges, museum officials said.

"We want people to engage with their imaginations, their creativity," said Caro Llewellyn, the producer of the library's centennial celebration.

The goal of the game is for people to write stories about the kind of future they want to see and the kind of world they envision, she said.

It's an opportunity, McGonigal added, for people to "leave their own legacy."
When Charles Dickens' beloved cat died he had its paw taxidermied and made into a letter opener. Members of the group that finds it will get a quest to write an open letter to someone they love.

The stories will be turned into a book, which will become part of the library's permanent collection.

Another object the gamers will find is Virginia Wolfe's walking stick. They won't be able to hold it, "but when you are up close and you think that it was found floating in the lake where she drowned herself, it's incredibly moving and powerful," Llewellyn said. "The whole idea of this game is to inspire people to have those same emotions and feel the power of those objects and become familiar with them."
Other objects include a pair of glasses worn by Jack Kerouac, but McGonigal and Llewellyn did not explain its writing quest. They also declined to disclose other objects for fear of spoiling the fun of the hunt.

The game also is a way for people to develop their writing, research and collaborating skills while learning historical facts and familiarizing themselves with the library's vast collection in a fun, innovative and inspiring way, Llewellyn said. It's the first time the landmark library has featured an overnight event.
The three-story library, the Stephen A. Schwarzman Building, houses 65 million items, including a Gutenberg Bible, the first substantial printed book in the Western world; the first edition of the sheet music of "The Star-Spangled Banner"; writing desks belonging to Emily Bronte and Dickens; and one of the oldest known terrestrial globes, known as the Hunt Lenox Globe, from 1510.

"People don't realize we have these extraordinary treasures here," Llewellyn said.
The library recently completed a three-year, $50 million preservation project that restored the landmark facade, famous for its iconic lion statues, Patience and Fortitude. After May 20, anyone can go to the library to play the game using his or her mobile phone.

McGonigal said she wanted to create a game that would bring in young people and help introduce them to what is unique about the library, not just as a place with a tremendous collection but also "a space where you can reinvent yourself and really prepare for the future."

Friday, May 20, 2011

Fun on the Web May 20, 2011 Don't Post on FB

What not to post on Facebook
http://www.thedailybuggle.com/top-tips-share-facebook/

  • Passwords: This shouldn’t even be mentioned here but you’d be surprised at the number of people who foolishly display their passwords for the world to see. Below is a classic example of social engineering that caused some users to reveal their passwords on Facebook. It makes you think, if people are so gullible, should we really be trusting the Web so much?
  • National Identification Numbers: These range from passport numbers, to social security numbers. There’s a reason such IDs are unique to your identity. They are not meant to be shared with people. Avoid this at all costs.
  • Bank/Other Financial Details: You really don’t want a Facebook stalker to be privy to your spending habits, or credit scores, do you? If you want to share such things with a person for business reasons, you shouldn’t be on Facebook in the first place.
  • Login IDs: The web is increasingly becoming part of your identity. You don’t want to lose that identity by sharing login credentials of different services with the world.
  • Social Plans: If you are going to visit that new pub in town, don’t let the world know about it. Try tagging only those who are important and relevant to what you want to post. People have been robbed in the past because they disclosed on Facebook that they are not going to be home.
  • Workplace Info: Another given. You will be in risk of third parties getting their hands on classified information. Also, you’ll surely be violating terms of your employment.

  • Address and Phone Info: Would you really like it if your least-favorite stalker got another reason to scare the living daylights out of you? Even if you have a super-secret, super-strong crush on your stalker, don’t!
  • Also, make sure that any mobile apps you are using to connect to Facebook aren’t posting your sensitive information to Facebook. If they are, look for alternative apps and contact the app developer asking for a reason they need to post personal data (like location, etc.).

    The Facebook bubble isn’t going to burst anytime soon. And with that, the number of malicious users and sneaky developers increases by the day. Just remember one golden rule: you are responsible for your own identity. Only you can protect it.


******************************************

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

******************************************

The Perfect Dress

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could
dampen her excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear and would be
the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new
young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!
Jennifer asked her stepmother to exchange it, but she refused.
"Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress and I'm
wearing it," she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind
sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another
gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked
her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You
really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm
wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."


******************************************

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those ..@!.. kids
next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around
you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's
leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning
of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset
rather than settle your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not
condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never
going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate
them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"

Bonus:

26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign
that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry
ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you
know they'll enjoy it too....

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Fun on the Web May 19, 2011 Blues Festivals

Just so I don't lose these, I am posting them here. For the non blues lovers, well its my blog and I can have blues if I want it (just scroll to the bottom for the jokes.)

I got to one blues festival so far in the middle of Wisconsin (Wausau area). I figure if I have a list then I can plan to see how many I can get to this year.

http://blues.about.com/od/bluescruisesfestivals/a/Blues-Festival-Calendar-2011.htm
http://www.bluesfestivalguide.com/festivals/2011.shtml
http://www.blues-fest.com/

14th Annual Doheny Blues Festival
May 21 and 22 @ Dana Point CA
www.omegaevents.com/dohenyblue

Mount Dora Blues And Wine Festival
May 20, 21 and 22 Mount Dora, FL
http://www.mountdorabluesandwinefest.com/

Chesapeake Bay Blues Festival
May 21 and; 22 @ Annapolis MD
www.bayblues.org

Blues Harmonica Jam Camp
May 24-28 @ Clarksdale MS
www.harmonicajamcamp.com

19th Annual Santa Cruz Blues Festival
May 28 and 29 @ Aptos CA
www.santacruzbluesfestival.com

Simi Valley Cajun & Blues Music Festival
May 28 and 29 @ Simi Valley CA
www.cajun-blues.com


June 2011

Eureka Springs Blues Festival
June 2-5 @ Eureka Springs AR
www.eurekaspringsblues.com

16th Annual Western Maryland Blues Fest
June 2-5 @ Hagerstown MD
www.blues-fest.org

Michael Arnone's 22nd Annual Crawfish Fest
June 3-5 @ Augusta NJ
www.crawfishfest.com

Waterfront Blues Festival
June 3-5 @ Toronto, Ontario CANADA
www.waterfrontblues.ca

Blues Bash 2011
June 4th Trempealeau, WI
http://www.trempealeauhotel.com/trempealeauhotel/default.asp?ID=29&PageData=395

Highway 61 Blues Festival
June 4 @ Greenville MS
www.highway61blues.com

Chicago Blues Festival
June 10-12 @ Chicago IL
www.chicagobluesfestival.us
http://www.explorechicago.org/city/en/things_see_do/event_landing/special_events/mose/chicago_blues_festival.html

Virginia Blues & Jazz Festival
June 10-12 @ Hot Springs VA
www.vabluesfest.org

10th Anniversary Canton Blues Festival
June 10 & 11 @ Hot Springs VA
www.cantonbluesfest.com

Famous Dave’s BBQ & Blues Festival
June 11, 2011 @ Minneapolis, MN
http://www.famousdavesbluesclub.com/bluesfest.pdf

South Bend Blues and Ribs Festival
June 11 - South Bend, IN
http://sbpark.org/special/bluerib.htm

21st Annual W.C. Handy Blues & Barbecue Festival
June 11-18 @ Henderson KY
www.handyblues.org

22nd Annual Billtown Blues Festival
June 12 @ Hughesville PA
www.billtownblues.org

Hambone Music Festival
June 17 & 18 @ Rochester MN
www.hambonebluesjam.com

Maine Blues Festival
June 17-19 @ Naples ME
www.mainebluesfestival.com

Bentonia Blues Festival
June 18 @ Bentonia MS
www.yazoo.org

MADISON BLUES SOCIETY BLUES PICNIC
June 18 @ Madison, WI
http://www.madisonbluessociety.com/picnic11.htm

Riverfront Blues Festival
June 24 and 25 @ Fort Smith AR
www.riverfrontbluesfest.org

26th Annual Monterey Bay Blues Festival
June 24-26 @ Monterey CA
www.montereyblues.com

July 2011

23rd Annual Safeway Waterfront Blues Festival
July 1-4 @ Portland OR
www.waterfrontbluesfest.com

Great South Bay Music Festival
July 15-17 @ Patchogue NY
www.greatsouthbaymusicfestival.com

July 2011 @ Bloomington, IL
http://www.nothinbutthebluesfestival.com/

North Atlantic Blues Festival
July 16 and 17 @ Rockland ME
www.northatlanticbluesfestival.com

Bluesfest International - Windsor
July 15-17 @ Windsor, Ontario CANADA
www.thebluesfest.com

Bluesfest International - London
July 15-17 @ London, Ontario CANADA
www.thebluesfest.com

Green River Festival
July 16 and 17 @ Greenfield MA
www.greenriverfestival.com

Pittsburgh Blues Festival
July 22-24 @ Pittsburgh PA
www.pghblues.com

Prairie Dog Blues Festival
July 29 and 30 St. Feriole Island, WI
http://www.prairiedogblues.com/

Pennsylvania Blues Festival
July 30 and 31 @ Palmerton PA
www.skibluemt.com

Port Townsend Acoustic Blues Festival
July 31-August 7 @ Port Townsend WA
www.centrum.org

August 2011

Notodden Blues Festival
August 4-7 @ Notodden NORWAY
www.bluesfest.no

Kitchener Blues Festival
August 4-7 @ Kitchener, Ontario CANADA
www.kitchenerbluesfestival.com

Cincy Blues Fest
August 5 and 6 @ Cincinnati OH
www.cincyblues.org

Northern California Blues Festival
August 5 and 6 @ Auburn CA
www.norcalbluesfest.com

Riverfront Blues Festival
August 5-7 @ Wilmington DE
www.RiverfrontBluesFest.com

16th Annual Mammoth Festival of Beers & Bluesapalooza
August 5-7 @ Mammoth Lakes CA
www.mammothbluesbrewsfest.com

Blues on the Chippewa
August 6 and 7 @ Durand, WI
http://www.bluesonthechippewa.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=19:line-up&catid=1:links

Sunflower River Blues & Gospel Fest
August 12-14 @ Clarksdale MS
www.sunflowerfest.org

Waukesha BluesFest
August 12 & 13 @ Waukesha, WI
http://www.waukeshabluesfest.com/index.htm

7th Annual Dutch Mason Blues Festival
August 12-14 @ Truro, Nova Scotia CANADA
www.dutchmason.com/festival

Big Bull Falls Blues Fest
August 19 and 20 Wausau, WI
http://www.wausauareaevents.org/events/bluesfest.cfm

Edmonton's Labatt Blues Festival
August 19-21 @ Edmonton, Alberta CANADA
www.bluesinternationalltd.com

White Mountain Boogie N' Blues Festival
August 19-21 @ Lincoln NH
www.nhblues.com

Summertime Blues! 2011 Nanaimo Blues Festival
August 26-28 @ Nanaimo, British Columbia CANADA
www.nanaimoblues.com

2nd Annual Byron Crossroads Blues Festival
August 27 @ Byron IL
www.byroncrossroadsbluesfestival.blogspot.com

September 2011

Blues In Hell Festival
September 1-4 @ Hell NORWAY
www.bluesinhell.no

16th Annual Howlin' Wolf Memorial Blues Festival
September 2 @ West Point MS
www.wpnet.org

Illinois Blues Festival
September 2 @ Peoria, IL
http://www.illinoisbluesfestival.com/

23rd Annual DC Blues Festival
September 3 @ Washington, D.C.
www.dcblues.org

Marquette Area Blues Fest
September 3 and 4 @ Marquette MI
www.marquetteareabluessociety.org

Bedford Blues & BBQ
September 3 and 4 @ Bedford TX
www.bedfordbluesfest.com

Bull Durham Blues Festival
September 9 and 10 @ Durham NC
www.bulldurhamblues.org

Greater Ozarks Blues Festival
September 9 & 10 @ Springfield MO
www.greaterozarksbluesfest.com

Holy Cow! Blues Festival
September 9 and 10 @ Canon City CO
www.holy-cow-blues.com

Sun Prairie Blues Fest
September 10 @ Sun Prairie, WI
http://www.spbluesfest.com/

Niagara Falls Blues Festival
September 9-11 @ Niagara Falls NY
www.niagarafallsbluesfest.com

The 18th Annual Telluride Blues & Brews Festival
September 16-18 @ Telluride CO
www.tellurideblues.com

PARAMOUNT BLUES FESTIVAL
September 17-18 @ Grafton, WI
http://www.graftonblues.org/paramountbluesfestival/

October 2011

ARKANSAS BLUES AND HERITAGE FESTIVAL
was King Biscuit Blues Festival
October 7 and 8 @ Helena, AR
http://www.bluesandheritagefest.com/

Daytona Blues Festival 2011
October 7-9 @ Daytona Beach FL
www.annualdaytonabluesfestival.com

Crescent City Blues and BBQ Festival
October 14-16 @ New Orleans LA
www.crescentcitybluesfest.com

Sydney Blues Festival
October 28-30 @ Sydney AUSTRALIA
www.sydneybluesfestival.com.au

******************************************


Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind
than in the one where they sprang up. ~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

******************************************

QUOTES FROM THE FIFTIES

Here are some quotes from people in the US during the
1950's... Oh, how times have changed!

1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way
they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a weeks
groceries for $20."

2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It
won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one."

3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit.
A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging
a dime just to mail a letter?"

5) "The Government is wanting to get its hands on everything.
Pretty soon it's going to be impossible to run a family
business or farm."

6) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be
able to hire outside help at the store."

7) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas
would someday cost 40 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better
off leaving the car in the garage."

8) "Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail haircuts make
it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys
will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

9) "Also, their music drives me wild. This 'Rock Around The
Clock' thing is nothing but racket."

10) "Pretty soon you won't be able to buy a good 10 cent
cigar."

11) "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's
possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century.
They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing
for it down in Texas."

12) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a
contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't
surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the
president."

13) "Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of
the country?"

14) "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen
appliances would be electric. They are even making electric
typewriters now."

15) "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where
some married women are having to work to make ends meet."

16) "It won't be long before young couples are going to have
to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

17) "I'll tell you one thing. If my kid ever talks back to
me, they won't be able to sit down for a week."

18) "Did you know the new church in town is allowing women
to wear slacks to their service?"

19) "Next thing you know is, the government will start paying
us to not grow crops."

20). "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the
Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes
wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

21). "Why in the world would you want to send your daughter
to college? Isn't she going to get married? It would be
different if she could be a doctor or a lawyer."

22) "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for
a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."

23) "Anymore no one can afford to be sick; $35 a day in the
hospital is too rich for my blood."

24) "If a few idiots want to risk their necks flying across
the country that's fine, but nothing will ever replace
trains."

25) "I don't know about you but if they raise the price of
coffee to 15 cents, I'll just have to drink mine at home."

26). "If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget
it. I'll have my wife learn to cut hair."

27) "We won't be going out much anymore. Our sitter informed
us she wants 50 cents an hour. Kids think money grows on
trees."

28) "Cars that dim their lights by sensors, automatic trans-
missions, and who knows what else? Pretty soon they will
drive themselves."

******************************************

Writings On the Wall

It is ironic that the irony hardly ever involves iron.

I have a photographic memory. It's just that sometimes I misplace
the camera.

My friends call me a double-crosser. I am obsessive-compulsive;
sometimes making the sign of the cross only once is not enough.

There is more than one way to judge a book by its cover.

Violence is not the answer. Unless the question is "an eight-letter
word starting with V and ending with E with L and E in the middle.

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Fun on the Web May 18, 2011 Graphics News

Not in the bad way of thinking of grapic news like violence but news with added graphics like transparencies made for a presentation.

A new way to look at news. Explore their graphics


******************************************


"A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old." -Craig Ferguson

******************************************

"A new study found that students who use Facebook while
studying have 20 percent lower grades than students who
focus. When kids who use Facebook heard that they were
like, '20 percent? Big deal. What's that, like 10 percent?'"
-Jimmy Fallon

******************************************

Since he runs a pawnshop, I decided to ask a friend of mine
to appraise my grandfather's violin. "Old fiddles aren't
worth much, I'm afraid," he explained.

"What makes it a fiddle and not a violin?" I asked.

"If you're buying it from me, it's a violin. If I'm buying
it from you, it's a fiddle."


******************************************


The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know
you'll grow out of it. ~~ Doris Day


******************************************

And remember... Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90 per cent probability you'll
get it wrong.

******************************************

Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Fun on the Web May 17, 2011 News Archives

Whether you are a history buff, doing genealogy research or just want to look up some old news, these may be a starting place:


Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Fun on the Web May 12, 2011 Task Management

Task Management Utility - Natural and intuitive with notes that look like notes
http://www.rememberthemilk.com/

How to Use
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-Remember-the-Milk

******************************************
Ok I know Fun on the Web used to be even more fun so lets see
if we can get there again:




Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Fun on the Web May 10, 2011 Online Book Clubs

So while I was in the frozen tundra I discovered online book clubs which offer an email selection each day to see if you like the book. The ones at the library up there gave one each day for a week and then offered the page number as well as ISBN number, author, and title so you can order the book online from the library. Without a library card that won't work but I don't see why that wouldn't also be doable with these choices.

This one allows you to read the whole book and upload ebooks of your own as well.
http://www.dripread.com/

This one allows you schedule delivery time and additional 5 minute segments at will.
http://www.dailylit.com/

This one offers recipes, library services, and giveaways too.
http://www.dearreader.com/

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Fun on the Web May 4, 2011 Organized

Its been an exciting time but exhausting. Moving back home feels great but I fall into bed each night after hauling stuff from the van, unpacking, cleaning, and putting things back together in some kind of order. Time to get organized.

0 Ways to Keep the Kitchen Organized

Some great organization products here (you can use them for ideas too)

8 Tips from a Kitchen Blogger

Einsteins Breakthrough

This is the start of a bloggers attempt to get organized

And another bloggers attempt