Friday, May 30, 2008

Fun on the Web May 30 '08 Job sites

Well I lost my job because of downsizing so I will
be spending a lot of time on these sites

But the one I find most helpful is
because it allows you to select salary range as well
as distance and keywords to search. It looks at
major job boards, newspapers, associations and
company career pages.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Fun on the Web May 29 '08 joke

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there,and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk....

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.'

Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.'

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear', he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose

Fun on the Web May 29 '08 Spot Criminals

Find out where all the creeps are

Recently an email went around suggesting this site
but it appears to be a hoax according to Snopes

see this for further info

Monday, May 26, 2008

Fun on the Web May 26 '08 Chicken Cross the Road

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because
it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience
makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day
One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance
it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must First deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help
him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe
there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have
access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to
cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I
am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which
way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to
a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other
side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal nedia white
washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and
as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments,
we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting,
and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much
more stable and will never cra...#R&^*^(!.... Reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need
some black chickens.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Fun on the Web May 24 '08 Bubble Wrap

Here's a stress-reliever: a virtual Bubble-Wrap site that
you can tailor to your own cortisol level.

It is on the site of Sealed Air, Bubble-Wrap's manufacturer
and is free to all. go to...

Friday, May 23, 2008

Fun on the Web May 23 '08 Carlin's New Rules


New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used
to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new
homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the
stuff you want and having other people buy it for you
isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for! There's a reason you don't talk to
people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly
like them! Besides, I already know what the captain
of the football team is doing these days --- mowing
my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out
a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all
shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of
Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did
you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex
with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged.
I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's
how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have
two of them? Good, we're done.

New Rule:There's no such thing as flavored water. There's
a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but,
without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called
a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over
ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the
bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order
a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-
shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one
Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from
sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing 'Enter,'
verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back,
and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be
ringing me up is standing there eating my Mars Bar.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters
in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of
your ass. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last
time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God
you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based
on crappy old television shows, then you have to give
everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's
playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason
something was a television show in the first place is that
the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more
bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering
me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George
Michael. I can't even tell If he's supposed to be there, or
just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your
webcam, Dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't
need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's
not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and
want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then
for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available
piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying,
'Do you want fries with that?'

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Fun on the Web May 21 '08 Joke

**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**

**'Hi honey.****This is Daddy.****Is Mommy
near the phone?'**

**'No, Daddy.****She's upstairs in the bedroom
with Uncle Paul.'**

**After a brief pause,**

**Daddy says,****'But honey, you haven't got an
Uncle Paul.'**

**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with
Mommy,****Right now.'**

Brief Pause.

**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.****
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs****
And knock on the bedroom door and shout to
Mommy****That Daddy's car just pulled into the
**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**

**A few minutes later****The little girl comes back
to the phone.**

**'I did it, Daddy.'**

**'And what happened, honey?' **

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with
no clothes on and ran around screaming.**

**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the
dresser****And now she isn't moving at all!'**

**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**

**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**

**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back
window****And into the swimming pool.****But I
guess he didn't know that you took out the water
last week to clean it.**

**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**

*****Long Pause*****

*****Longer Pause*****

*****Even Longer Pause*****

**Then Daddy says,**

**'Swimming pool? ...........**

**Is this 486-5731?'*

**No, I think you have the wrong number......

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Fun on the Web May 20 '08 Joke

Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk
with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad
also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about
the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would
get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.

Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little
hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor
said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnnie, . . .

"cause he'd be screwed if he needed glasses"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

FUN on the WEB May 14 '08 Bluesbaby

Trying to update the original Bluesbaby site

I found some great new music sites

Free streaming music of your choice. Start with artist seeds
and then approve or disapprove each song to give them a
feel for your style. A thumbs down will stop a selection right
away. Or just listen to preprogrammed stations, all with no

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Monday, May 12, 2008

Fun on the Web May 12 '08 How to Enjoy Your Job

Wikihow is a fantastic site but some entries are better than others.
This is one of the best, useful, and on a Monday just what we need.
How to of the Day is How to Enjoy Your Job

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Friday, May 9, 2008

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Fun on the Web May 7 2008 Politics

The NY Times has an extensive politics section including
breakdowns of delegates, maps, articles, and a selection
of other sites to peruse

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Fun on the Web May 6 2008

Great Political Section

Monday, May 5, 2008

Fun on the Web May 5 2008

More than you ever knew about Cinco de Mayo

History of Cinco de Mayo

For the kids