Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because
it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience
makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day
One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance
it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me...
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must First deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help
him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe
there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have
access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to
cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I
am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which
way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to
a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other
side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal nedia white
washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and
as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments,
we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting,
and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much
more stable and will never cra...#R&^*^(!.... Reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need
some black chickens.
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