Fun on the Web July 28 '08 Joke

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married
for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they
managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health,
largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods
and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went
on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending
them off to Heaven.


They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted
them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion,
furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked
kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid
could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome
to Heaven. This will be your home now.'
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going
to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this
is your reward in Heaven.'

The old man looked out the window and right there he
saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful
than any ever built on Earth. 'What are the greens fees?,'
grumbled the old man.

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free,
every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish
buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out
before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts,
free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is
Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously
at his wife.
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods,
and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat
and drink as much as you like of whatever you like,
and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'

'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and
your bran muffins. We could have been here ten
years ago!'