Fun on the Web May 31, 2011 Reliable Heath Advice

With a host of doctors and professors on their advisory board from John Hopkins, Harvard, and other prestigious institutions this site offers jargon free articles and advice.
http://www.myoptumhealth.com/portal/#multiStory1

Having a headache so I have to go lay down.

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Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Fun on the Web May 30, 2011 Memorial Day

I hope you all have some outdoor plans to enjoy the current summer weather.

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"Washington, D.C. high schools are being investigated for teachers helping students beat the standardized tests by giving them the answers or changing wrong answers for them. Where were these teachers when I was in high school?" -Jay Leno

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The first day at my new health club I asked the girl at the
front desk, "I like to exercise after work. What are your
hours?"

"Our club is open 24/7," she told me excitedly, "Monday
through Saturday."

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"They say that when you have a baby, you lose 700 hours of sleep in the first year, but it's worth it when they're old enough to do the yard work." -Craig Ferguson
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My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended
graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said
she wasn't in yet and offered to take a message. The caller
said she'd phone back later.

At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that
Marina had gone to lunch.

The last call came in at 3:30 p.m. "I'm sorry," I said,
"she's left for the day. May I take a message?"

"Yes," the caller replied. "How can I get a job with you?"

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"Microsoft is bringing back 'Clippy,' the cartoon paperclip
that used to pop up in Word documents. Apparently he's been
hiding in an upscale suburb of Pakistan." -Jimmy Fallon

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A co-worker asked if I knew what to do about a computer problem that was preventing her from getting e-mail. After calling the help desk, I told my colleague that e-mail was being delayed to check for a computer virus. "It's a variant of the I Love You virus, only worse," I said.

"What could be worse?" my single co-worker asked wryly. "The Let's Just Be Friends virus?"

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Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Fun on the Web May 27, 2011 Pampering TGIF

Happy long weekend!

Tips on Pampering
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/258151/7_tips_for_how_women_can_pamper_themselves.html

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No sooner did I hear about Flirtinis than the recipe popped up on my screen

Ingredients

1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz Cointreau or Triple Sec
1 oz pineapple juice
3 oz champagne
1 marschino cherry, for garnish

Directions

1 Pour the vodka, Cointreau, and juice into an ice-filled mixing glass. Stir.
2 Strain into a chilled martini glass.
3 Top with the champagne.
4 Garnish with the maraschino cherry.

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While I may not have the ingredients above I do have these to make Raspberry Hard Lemonade (and the lemonade is sugar free too)

Ingredients

2 oz vodka
3 oz pink lemonade
1/2 oz raspberry liqueur
ice
Directions

1 Pour vodka and lemonade into an ice-filled mixing glass. Stir.
2 Strain into serving glass.
3 Carefully pour in raspberry liqueur.

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This sounds amazing too Cinnamon Caramel Apple Martini

Ingredients

1 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
2 oz Vodka
1 oz Rose's Sour Apple Mix
1 Maraschino Cherry
1 Tsp. Cinnamon
1 Tbs. Brown Sugar
1 Tbs. Caramel Syrup
1 Small Candy Cane
1 Slice Green Apple
Directions

1 Sprinkle some brown sugar and cinnamon on a small plate. Pour caramel syrup on top of the sugar mixture in a circle. Dip the rim of a martini glass in the mixture and spin back and forth and all around until the whole rim is coated. Place the glass in the freezer until ready to use.

2 In a shaker with ice, add the Buttershots, the vodka and the sour apple mix. Shake for a minute.

3 Remove glass from freezer. Place one maraschino cherry in the bottom of the glass. Pour mix from shaker into glass. Garnish with a Candy Cane and an apple slice. Notes: If you prefer a drink that packs less of a punch you can always cut the vodka in half.

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Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Fun on the Web May 26, 2011 Theme Parks

So some of you may know I am planning a trip with my granddaughter to LA but did you know we will try to hit some theme parks?

I am always looking for a bargain so here is where I look:
http://www.themeparkcodes.com/
http://themeparks.lovetoknow.com/Category:Theme_Parks_Slideshows

http://www.family-vacation-getaways-at-los-angeles-theme-parks.com/los-angeles-theme-parks.html

http://www.mousesavers.com/hollywood.html

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Life is still packed or should I say filled with unpacking, schlepping boxes and things from one place to another. Nothing seems funny but sitting down sure feels good these days!

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Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Fun on the Web May 25, 2011 Photos

OK I am having a day. Still unpacking and too much to do but I did check out brunch ideas and came across this blog entry on how to take great graduation photos:
http://www.machineshed.com/blog/2011/how-to-take-great-graduation-photos/

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Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Fun on the Web May 24, 2011 Pinterest

Great quote on a great website. A place to keep those things that interest you. (We can't all blog can we?)
http://pinterest.com/pin/26338676/
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Going to make this quick. Off to a job interview . . .

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Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!

Fun on the Web May 23, 2011 Picking a Tie

Have you ever wonder how to pick good ties?
http://www.wikihow.com/Choose-a-Tie

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Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading and invading America....Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.


And furthermore


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?:


1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."


2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."


3. She is not "EASY" - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."


4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."


5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."


6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."


7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"


8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."


9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."


10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."


11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."


12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?:


1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.


2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."


3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."


4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."


5. He is not a Cradle Robber He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."


6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."


7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He developed a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."


8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."


9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."


10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."


11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It is "REAR CLEAVAGE."

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1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6 WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
7. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
(because if they all went, it would be Hell.)


Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart......
Then you are just an old sour fart.

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Things to Ponder

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seatbelts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this: no one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
20. How is it that a little boy who is deathly afraid of needles has to have piercings when he turns 18?

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Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web today!

If you know someone who would enjoy Fun on the Web,
please send them a link so that they can follow it.

If you would like to refer back to a link or a funny, I have
added the back issues to an archive here:
http://fun-on-the-web.blogspot.com/ 2008-2011
http://more-blues.blogspot.com/ 2005-2007
http://blues-babys-rants.blogspot.com/ 2003-2004

Thanks and have a great day!