If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to
see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they
call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior
when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his
chest, but always ducked when someone threw a
gun at him?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," what is the
opposite of progress?
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Fun on the Web June 6 '08 Funnies
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed
to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on the remote-control
when you know the battery is dead?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians
throw hamburgers?
Why are they called buildings when they are
already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all
stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds
fee" on money they already know you don't have?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started
driving backward, would the taxi driver end
up owing you money?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent
the other way?
to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on the remote-control
when you know the battery is dead?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians
throw hamburgers?
Why are they called buildings when they are
already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all
stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds
fee" on money they already know you don't have?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started
driving backward, would the taxi driver end
up owing you money?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent
the other way?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Fun on the Web June 5 '08 Funnies
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what
do you pack it in?
I just got skylights put in my place.
The people who live above me are furious.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped
people at the Special Olympics?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they
taste funny?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an
"s" in it?
Since light travels faster that sound, isn't that why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
do you pack it in?
I just got skylights put in my place.
The people who live above me are furious.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped
people at the Special Olympics?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they
taste funny?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an
"s" in it?
Since light travels faster that sound, isn't that why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Fun on the Web June 4 '08 Funnies
When someone asks you, "A penny for your
thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what
happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called
a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? "I am." is
reportedly the shortest sentence in the English
language. Could it be that "I Do." is the longest
sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners
depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't
people from Holland called "Holes?"
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide,
is that considered a hostage situation?
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if
sponges didn't live there.
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me
how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
So what is the speed of dark?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour
before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what
happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called
a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? "I am." is
reportedly the shortest sentence in the English
language. Could it be that "I Do." is the longest
sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners
depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't
people from Holland called "Holes?"
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide,
is that considered a hostage situation?
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if
sponges didn't live there.
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me
how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
So what is the speed of dark?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour
before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Fun on the Web June 3 '08 T shirts
Cool retro & vintage posters and T-shirts: get
yours just in time for Fathers Day
http://www.wolfgangsvault.com/
yours just in time for Fathers Day
http://www.wolfgangsvault.com/
Monday, June 2, 2008
Fun on the Web June 2 '08 Warning
This just happened to my co-worker this weekend.
The State Police advised him to report it to the nearest
Secretary of State, and it only cost $5.00 for a new plate.
Keep an Eye on your license plate. Pass it on to those you
know. Thanks!
A woman said her son found his license plate missing so
he called the police to file a report. They told him people
were stealing the plates to get free gas. Given the rise in
gas prices, people have taken to stealing license plates,
putting them on their car, then getting gas and running.
The gas station will have 'your' license plate # and you
could be in trouble for 'pump and run.' Check your car
periodically to be sure you still have a plate. If you
should find it missing, file a report immediately!!!
Keep an eye on your license plate! Make sure you always
know it's there! When the license plate is reported as the
'drive off vehicle,' it's YOU they contact! Be aware!!!!
Be aware of your license plates, most of us never look to
see if the plates are there or not.
The State Police advised him to report it to the nearest
Secretary of State, and it only cost $5.00 for a new plate.
Keep an Eye on your license plate. Pass it on to those you
know. Thanks!
A woman said her son found his license plate missing so
he called the police to file a report. They told him people
were stealing the plates to get free gas. Given the rise in
gas prices, people have taken to stealing license plates,
putting them on their car, then getting gas and running.
The gas station will have 'your' license plate # and you
could be in trouble for 'pump and run.' Check your car
periodically to be sure you still have a plate. If you
should find it missing, file a report immediately!!!
Keep an eye on your license plate! Make sure you always
know it's there! When the license plate is reported as the
'drive off vehicle,' it's YOU they contact! Be aware!!!!
Be aware of your license plates, most of us never look to
see if the plates are there or not.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Fun on the Web June 1 '08 Cooking
I like to cook on the weekends for the upcoming days
http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf/home.htm
http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf/home.htm
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